Sunday, October 04, 2009

#7 Family (15 minutes around Postcode 2000)

Sydneysiders are rarely interested in marriage until around 28. They regularly live together before marriage. And before then, they couldn’t imagine having a baby, but when they do they can’t imagine anything else. (Babies are burdens before marriage and accessories after marriage). As they get older, the men in particular are hurting, and they are sensitive to the possibility that they have not been close enough to their sons and daughters as they imagined they would.
That accessories bit is kind of harsh, but someone said it in our brainstorm session, and I'd be interested to know your thoughts.

Pic of St Philip's on Flickr by Ian.Climacus.


Sam C said...

There's a 7am-7pm childcare place next door to my house (5 mins from the City). I often pass professional-looking mums & dads dropping off or picking up their kids.

RodeoClown said...

My impression is that babies regularly come before the marriage, not after (well, at least the first one - baby or marriage, take your pick).

Mike W said...

Yep, I can confirm it. Mostly, if someone has a child, that will dominate the conversation you (or anyone else near them) will have, especially if the child is nearby. A child is a perpetually renewing accessory, constantly bringing out new tricks and features.

Anonymous said...

I think the 'children are accessories' thing is a straw man.

It's easy for Christians, who reckon we have our priorities so well sorted, to think that other people must have screwed up reasons for having children.

But most parents in the world who aren't Christian love their kids deeply, and would and do make huge sacrifices for them, particularly mothers. This is because parenthood is part of creation.

I think suggesting that children are accessories to (even some) non-Christian parents is condescending and a good example of why non-Christians sometimes have so much contempt for Christians. We think we're better.

We need to snap out of it teach each other a proper theology of creation.

Justin said...

@Ben -- Sure. But worth throwing out there.

Have you ever read Urban Babies Wear Black?

Pretty funny. But also just a little bit insightful on the whole baby as an accessory thing.

But I suspect that this line will not be in any next revisions.

RodeoClown said...

I see plenty of babies-as-accessory, I don't think it has baring as to whether or not they love their kids.

Of course they do.

Justin said...

@rodeoclown -- Nice.

A Friend said...

Yeah. And family breakdown is a big reality for many in the city as well.

byron smith said...

I would say that kids are either inconveniences or idols, depending on which side of the nappy you're on. The kid as accessory is a tongue in cheek way of putting one trend about trendiness, but I think there is a much deeper and more powerful lure to treating children as little idols, whose lives must be made perfect through the pursuit of every opportunity, material, social, spiritual, experiential and so on. As with all idols, this is based on good desire (to love and care for a child), but one that has lost perspective and grown out of proportion.