Thursday, March 30, 2006

Laurel enters the Blogosphere





So this is how it starts...the slippery slope of kiddy consumerism.

I was out today with The Boy and The Girl running a few errands before travelling to DC for my defense. I went to the shops to get the essentials for the trip. At one point I paused in the middle of an aisle and tried to think about what else I had needed to get. Before a thought of my own could form I hear a little voice coming from the stroller that I was pushing say, “Elmo.”

I wasn’t sure that I had heard The Boy correctly so I asked him, “What did you say?”

“Elmo,” he replied. “Elmo.” Clear as day.

I looked around and sure enough, pictured on a box of biscuits there was the familiar ruddy visage of Elmo, with his falsetto voice and insidious laugh.

I was so taken by the way that The Boy had recognized Elmo and said his name that I just had to get the biscuits. He didn’t even ask for them. I think I dissolved into a blubbering puddle as I grabbed the box off the shelf. “Elmo! OhmygoodnessyousaidElmo! Yay! Let’s get a box and celebrate!”

I know, I know, I know. This must stop.

I can’t give The Boy everything he is able to say. What will I do when he says “kitten,” do I jump up and get him one? Or “dog,” or “pony,” or “jumping castle” or “small island in the South Pacific”? There is no way that I can fit a jumping castle in this apartment.

But then we went into Payless to find some inexpensive sneakers for The Boy. As I looked at the rather drab selection, once again The Boy said “Elmo.” And sure enough, lurking on the very bottom shelf and almost hidden from view was the most perfect pair of Elmo slippers.

“OhmygoodnessyousaidElmoagain!” I gushed.

However, I remembered that I was a bit too eager to buy The Boy biscuits just because he said “Elmo,” and so decided to only buy the slippers if they were really worth it.

“Are these real Elmo-fur slippers?” I asked the clerk.

He assured me that they were, indeed, made of genuine Elmo hide. I looked closely and recognised the unnatural sheen of the fur and the trademark way that it is supposed to look shiny, synthetic and flammable under florescent lights (in a way that imitation fur cannot copy).

“And what are the origins of the small, stuffed Elmo heads?”

Once again, the clerk put my fears at rest as he explained that they only source Elmo pelts from a farm in upstate New York. All Elmos are allowed to roam freely within the confines of the farm until they are humanely slaughtered (by tickling) and their pelts sold to Payless, who then pass them on to their cobblers.

Well, that sold me on the slippers.

We put them on The Boy right then and there in Payless and he didn’t take them off until he went to bed. Right now they are sitting at the foot of his bed and are ready for his feet to slip into them first thing in the morning.

But, the Elmo buying streak stops first thing tomorrow...just as long as he doesn’t say “Elmo” again.

Love, Laurel

15 comments:

Liesl said...

Love it!

Em said...

It sounds to me like the store clerk really knew what he was talking about. I mean, that in and of itself is worth cash.
As for the boys continued recognition of Elmo, WOW! Maybe I could find him a little Elmo dress up suit to bring when I come. That would be adorable!
Thank you for sharing this delightful story.

Laurel said...

Yes, I agree. I wanted to reward this hard-working clerk for his in-depth knowledge of the product he was selling. As for head-to-toe Elmo...sounds perfect! Do they come in my size?

Justin said...

4:37AM Liesl? Tough times with the little one? Hope you are feeling better.

chelsea said...

oh soo cute!

jodi mclaren said...

Laurel bligs! fantastic bring it on. wonder what's going to happen when he gets to the double barrelled words 'tickle-me-elmo-toy?'. I'm with Emma, let's try and find the boy a dress up suit and start a whole new world of fascination for him.
lots of love
xxxx

Jim said...

What a fantastic post. A joy to read on a Friday morning. I demand more Laurel posts!

Jimmy

dave traill said...

good to see that tickling and elmo toys are important for the boy.

love it j-man, he's too cute.

dave

Em said...

Maybe the boy can dress as Elmo. You can be Bert. And I can be Ernie. Justin of course can dress as Mr Snuffleupagus. And lets not forget the dear sweet little girl who would be perfect as the Rubber Ducky (couldn't think of anything else...)

Camel said...

That made me smile. The joy of children is so exciting. I can understand his obsession with a Sesame Street character. Grover was my imaginary friend. Ok, maybe he still is...

Tiddy said...

*jumps on the "we want more laurel posts" bandwagon*

Renée said...

hilarious... loving the 'wifey' blog. Keep it coming. Congratulations too on defending your thesis, I imagine that's a little nerve-racking. how many people did you have to 'defend' in front of?

oh, and you'd better watch out, I've heard america is known for its consumerism, and it all starts with a 2 year old wondering 'how to get to sesame street'...

The sun is shining here today, although it's become quite clear that winter is on its way given the sudden drop in temperatures upon arriving in April. sniff.

much love
xox

Anonymous said...

laurel you are sooooooooooo funny. but i think i prefer calling you 'one wife'. rhea

clarefish said...

Laurel, congrats, very proud of you :)
Wanted to send you an email but don't have your address... perhaps J-man can send to me?

michael jensen said...

Can't he say 'huckleberry fin' or something a little more literary? Come ON you guys!